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Title: For One Heart Alone
Written for the K/S Advent Calender

Author: T’Racionn (= tracionn )

Beta: ashkitty  whom I thank so very much!! You were patient ( and witty anyway) and this although your schedule had already been so tight – Thnx a million!  All remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone. I insist.

Universe: TOS 

Rating: NC-17

Length: about 6100

Warnings: A wee bit of H/C, a touch of angst and LOTS of fluff

Summary: After a tough mission, both Kirk and Spock want to share something of importance with the other

Disclaimer: The names are not mine. Their hearts and minds though seem to be very comfortable within that fandom of ours.

Link to Art, meaning manip, by *cough* me *cough*: here

(I do not know why everything in italic is also in yellow and I'm sorry...this design and setting was made for me and I have no idea how to change it)



For One Heart Alone


“Good, continue searching for casualties and survivors, and make sure the ship holds orbit until we beamed everyone over here”, Kirk said to Spock. His face on the bridge screen would faint any second, condemning Kirk to waiting for his safe return.

“And Spock…be careful”, Kirk added gently.

 “Certainly, Captain”, Spock said in stern voice, although his eyes sent a warm hint into Kirk’s as he answered.

As the picture finally faded, Kirk whispered a quiet “You’d better”, and swallowed an unwanted sense of misgiving before he straightened and turned back to his duty: organising the handling of the damages on the ship and personal the anomaly had left behind. They had hoped to made it in time to save the Earth research ship Jane Goodall when they got the distress call, but the subspace distortion had arrived first and had caused thorough destruction on both ships before it dissolved.

After assuring himself of the safety of the bridge and its crew he handed commando over to Sulu and jumped up to the turbo lift to head for sickbay, lifting fallen wall elements here and there and supporting crewmembers still waiting for treatment as he went. Two of them he took on each side and carried them along.

Finally arriving at sickbay he was met by the chaos of moaning people, rushing personnel, and an instructions-barking doctor. Kirk handed his injured people carefully over and turned to McCoy to receive an update report.

 “M’Benga is operating two from the Jane Goodall in the back room, four others are awaiting operation, some twenty are here with minor injuries – minor as in they-don’t-die-right-away that is”, McCoy grumbled and went on in a serious tone: “Lt Livres and Ensign Burke didn’t make it.”

 Kirk closed his eyes and looked down while his hand covered his face, his self turned seemingly inward for a moment. Then he stretched his neck and asked:

 “We’ll be getting more from the Jane Goodall, can you handle them?”

 “Sure, as soon as I’ve grown four more arms… aah, just bring’em in! How are you doing?”,  McCoy asked and let the scanner run over Kirk who washed it quickly away.

 “I’m fine, bridge wasn’t hit too hard. I’ll check engineering and let you…”, he stopped short and turned around. And then back again, as if searching the room, not believing it was safe.

 “What’s it? What’s wrong?” McCoy asked, lifting his scanner again.

“I…I don’t know, but something is wrong.” Kirk shook his head again and kept rubbing his palms. Spock…it’s him. I feel it.

“You mean besides the fact that we nearly lost two ships ‘cause of yet another weird energy thing and my sickbay is as crowded as farmer’s marketplace two days before Thanksgiving?” McCoy snarled while taking care of a woman whose both arms were apparently dislocated.

“No, I think it’s…I’ve gotta go. Security will bring you the Jane Goodall patients – and ask Bergdahl to send some of his staff to help you out!” Kirk shouted over his shoulder while he was already heading for the exit.

 “Bergdahl? Spock’s second in science is worse than him!” McCoy shouted back.

 “You’ll handle it. They’re capable - and make it an order.” With that the door closed behind him and Kirk run to the transporter room.

God, Spock…This was more than just one of Kirk’s usual hunches, this was as certain as gravity. The feeling of misgiving in him grew and formed a knot in his throat, taking him the air to breathe. He quickened his pace.

 The transporter room was similar crowded and he had to wait two turns of beams. Meanwhile, he turned to the intercom, speaking briefly to Scott before calling the bridge to inform Sulu of his absence.

He didn’t notice Lieutenants Riley’s perplexed face when he finally hurried onto the platform and ordered him to beam him aboard the Jane Goodall.

 “But Sir, we had orders not to beam any more over, the ship’s not safe and…”

“Ensign! I said: Beam. Me. Aboard”,  Kirk repeated, his look fixed on Riley and his voice hardly more then a whisper, despite all his tension. And Riley obeyed.

 He materialized on the Jane Goodall, stepped through another crowd and turned to DeSalle who was in charge of engineering on board and coordinated the evacuation of the ship.

 “Report, Lieutenant?”

 “Intercom is still down here, the ship’s orbit is safe for another hour according to the last statement of Commander Spock. The evacuation is almost complete, Sir. Two more beam overs for the crew of the Jane Goodall and one for our people. One from Goodall is missing, and one of us – Mr. Spock, Sir.” DeSalle cleared his throat. “He hasn’t reported back yet, he last said he’s heading for the cargo deck.”

Kirk nodded fast. “Get everyone aboard the Enterprise, check who’s missing and double check. Wait here for that hour and get yourself over should I and Mr. Spock not have reported back by then.” Kirk didn’t wait for the acknowledgement and went out of the room and raced through the halls, being annoyingly slowed down by more debris and the unfamiliarity of the ship.

The scene when he entered cargo bay took his breath away and he almost jumped back. Three shuttles were hardly more than wreckage and where one must have hit the wall it had destroyed the titan panels there and cut lose wide parts of the walls. On one of the sides stood Spock, head down, one leg somewhere behind him and the other one bend at the knee, his arms spread wide to convey the weigh of a complete shuttle undercarriage that had got caught in the open side walls.

Spock, what are you doi…

Then he got it: Spock held the slab up to prevent it from falling on the crewman lying under it. The ensign was unconscious but apparently alive and only Spock’s heavy burden saved her from sure death. He couldn’t see Spock’s face yet but his arms were already trembling, his shirt worn off around the shoulders.

Kirk shouted a distraught “Spock!” and dashed to him, the approximately forty meters feeling like a thousand.

Spock’s head shot up and his eyes met Kirk’s gaze, and after a blink of astonishment recognition wakened and he said in a compressed, choked voice: “No, Jim! Stay…away. The shuttle itself is unstable and I…I can not calculate how it will…fall, the engine circuits are overloading.. Jim…you must…not come…closer.”

 I mustn’t? Sorry, have we meet yet? Oh Spock, shouldn't you know me by now...

“Don’t speak, Spock”, he said while still running.

He could see Spock’s face now and the sight of it let his heart wrench – stress had branded deep lines in the elegant traits, his eyes were bloodshot and dark, and he sweated. Kirk couldn’t recall to ever having seen Spock sweating.

The decision to stop and call DeSalle or his men for help was nonexistent. Besides the fact that he would risk their lives again, it was mostly a matter of time. Whatever happened in the next minutes -  before a security team arrived here, it would be over. And the one thing he didn’t want right now was losing time unnecessarily. On his way he scanned the room for a bar or pole, something he could use as a pillar but all he saw were scattered pieces of debris.

He would have to drag the crewman out as quickly as possible so Spock could let go of the undercarriage. When he was close enough he stopped in front of Spock, pressed his forehead against the Vulcan’s and felt him pressing back, and he caressed the strained skin on his cheeks with gentle fingers.


It lasted only for a blink of a moment but it was time spent neither would regret.

Kirk’s next step took him already half under the vessel piece and he slid down further to get hold of the ensign. While he checked the woman’s life signs he began to uncover her from metal scraps and fragments. He was tempted to ask Spock what happened, but did not.

“Okay, I’ll get her out now, I’ll be done in a second and then I’ll get you out of here too. Didn’t you agree to be careful?” Kirk wanted to achieve a light tone, speaking of confidence and hope, and failed utterly.

Spock indicated a nod and suppressed another wave of pain shooting through his entire body. He had been standing in his current position for 36.42 minutes and he felt his strength weakening rapidly. Beside the pure heft pressing against his back and tormenting his legs, the sharp edges of the damaged titan plate cut into his neck and arms, ripping them open.

He had considered the possibility that DeSalle would have finally searched for him but hadn’t taken into account the unforeseeable actions of Kirk himself.

He had been nearly shocked to see him entering the cargo bay, anticipating immediately his further actions and the danger these carried for him. And yet: a small part deep within him was pleased to see him, as if disregarding the circumstances his alone presence would make all the difference. And it does for me, does it not?

Nevertheless Kirk should not be here – he should be on the Enterprise, and most importantly he should be safe. Instead he was now crawling right beneath the shuttle that threatened to burry all of them, manoeuvring in precise and quick movements.

I will try to be strong but you have to be so too. You have not seen it yet, have you? Oh Jim..

Another burden, this time one of loss and regret for what might never be again took posession of him. And born by a pain both of body and mind a loud moan fought its way out of him.

Kirk winced and his neck hair rose but his motions didn’t slow down, he – they – couldn’t afford it.

“I’m almost done, Spock. Hang on just a second…”, he said. I’ll hurry, dear, oh how I will hurry…

He had freed the woman and shoved her out from beneath the shuttle, then turned in one quick move to Spock and was just about to draw him with him when he, out of the corner of his eyes, saw it: Spock’s right leg jammed into the bulkhead of the hangar wall and stuck there, the foot bent in a very unhealthy angle. He froze and faced Spock who was looking directly back at him.

 “Leave, Jim,” he said hoarsely, “Your safety is…imperative, it is for the Enterprise…and it is even more so for me.” His last words were not more than a whisper. T’hy’la, do you see that you must go?

 “The hell I will!” Kirk said and crawled back behind Spock. He positioned himself on his knees parallel to Spock and took with his back some of the shuttle’s weight himself so that Spock could let one arm drop. Feeling his bones crunch he turned to pull and push the bulkhead away, soon lifting simply his leg and kicking it. Due to the limited space his knee rubbed along the wreckage with every hit and not before long blood dropped down to the floor where it mingled with thick green blops coming from above him, forming strange, minatory patterns.

 “Jim, I will not be able to hold the shuttle longer. You must leave now; not doing so would be imprudent.” I am sorry, Jim. So sorry.

However heavy Spock’s load was, the importance of holding this unfortunate undercarriage up, of simply holding out, had increased enormously with the mere fact that now James Kirk’s life was to be assured. And as much as it was his responsibility to do so – it was his sincere wish as well.

Spock’s voice had changed into a calm, steady tone and it frightened Kirk even more.

It tore Kirk apart but he knew that if he followed Spock’s wish and left, Spock would give up his burden and probably die. Pushing that devastating thought away he stayed where he was, transforming his desperation in anger and placing one stroke after another against the bulkhead.

“I.” Kick. “Won’t.” Kick. “Leave.” Kick. “You.” Kick. “You hear me?” Kick. I never will.

His knee crashed and he cursed painfully and continued with his elbows, arms, bare hands again. Almost there, almost.

But then the choice was taken from him.

“What..?” Kirk cried out when he felt Spock’s hand grabbing his arm and pushing him away with all the Vulcan strength that was left in him. Kirk flew helplessly toward the inner deck with a pace he didn’t wish for. He tried to turn around, to stop, to do anything to avoid leaving but found himself simply too fast.

Never, Spock. Never. Kirk stopped fighting his flight but grasped the hand that was about to let go the hold on his arm and locked firmly on to it, bonding them for death – or life.

Jim, no!

Time slowed down and when he looked at Spock’s bewildered face it seemed they were caught in the moment forever – hands to wrists, eyes locked, blood blended, balancing on a knife’s edge that separated past from future.

Then time decided to resume its path and Kirk came to stop on the safe side where he had to steady his weight on his injured leg and did so without a flinch. He immediately used the energy of the flow and pulled Spock with him, hoping desperately he had been quick enough, strong enough, good enough.

And he had. Spock landed in his arms in the same instant the shuttle burst asunder, his arms grasping Kirk’s shaking body, his head falling from the great exhaustion on Kirk’s shoulder. Both hobbling they took a few steps away and sank, embracing each other, to the ground, Kirk’s hand carefully caressing Spock’s face.

 “We really have to talk about that being careful thing, Mister”, he said quietly and Spock pressed his head closer to Kirk’s chest, mumbling an even quiet “Yes, Sir.”

Then Kirk rose, took the ensign over his shoulder, supported Spock with his free arm and was halfway supported by him, and together they limped out of there.




Three days later a healing trance and McCoy’s experienced skills had healed most of Spock’s injuries, leaving behind only the damaged nerves on his back that would need more time and meditation to revive completely.

Sickbay still being crowded, Bones had discharged both of them with grinding teeth and recommended time off - a recommendation very welcomed not only by them but the rest of the crew too: It was a rare occasion that the Christmas holidays met Starfleets schedule of R&R. The Jane Goodall had been control-crashed on the uninhabited planetoid, all it’s personal rescued in time to the Enterprise which was now in orbit around ground base 4 for extended shore leave.

The planet below them offered a wide range of amusements and amenities, held well in a tropical climate by a wide dome spanned over the artificial landscape. But that wasn’t what Kirk had in mind. He longed for fresh air, real fresh air and he knew what Spock needed most of all were tranquillity and peace. He was still in the process of recovery and had to regularly apply meditation impulses to control the level of pain caused by the harmed nerves.

"Spock, have you ever seen the snowflakes dance?” he called trough the now open bathroom connecting their quarters while he was packing.

“I did not know they had the ability to do so, Jim”, came the answer.

“Oh, they do -  I’ll show you!”

Spock stepped slowly in and asked: “You do not intend to spent shore leave within the dome?”

Kirk met him halfway and smiled at him. “No, not this time. I’m looking for something more…rooted to the soil. I’ve asked for one of the private huts they rent out in the natural landscape and I thought we could catch some real air there. It’s supposed to be snowing, just at the right time of the year – I haven’t been in the snow on Christmas for ages. So…what you say?” Kirk said hopefully and there was a glow in his eyes.

 “The air in the dome is very real as well as far as I know”, Spock said with a tilt of his head and added: “Yet I admit your description does sound peaceful.”

 “You wouldn’t mind the prospect of snow?”

 Spock took Kirk’s hand and let their fingers entwine. How could I mind something that brings you such joy? “I would not.”

 Kirk smiled brightly then he asked, knowing that the Vulcan wouldn’t speak of it otherwise,: “How’s your recovery going?”

 Spock’s lips became a thin line. “The impulses are still necessary. But do not be concerned, I will be all right.”

 “Yes”, Kirk whispered, “I’ll try to take care of that.” He squeezed the Vulcan hand lovingly.

 With that they parted to finished packing and beamed down an hour later. They took a traditional groundcar and drove up the lonesome road to their assigned hut. The little house stood surrounded by a few trees and overlooked a wide natural valley that stretched till the horizon. The dome was not more than a blurred silhouette in the far distance, the planet’s dawn just about to set in when they walked to the hut. The air was clear and as fresh as Kirk had wished.

They got settled and when the darkness began to break, Kirk handed Spock a parka with an implemented heating unit on the back and guided him out.

Outside Kirk rubbed his hands and said: “It’s gonna snow any minute, I smell it.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow and looked at him, daring to doubt the fortune telling abilities of Kirk’s sense of smell.

Kirk lifted his hands in defence: “I swear! Just wait - and watch! I’ll go in and make it a bit more…comfortable for us”.

"You will not join me?” Spock asked, not wanting him to leave yet not completely reluctant to a moment of solitude either.

 “I’ll be back.” Kirk smiled at him and left. He hoped that the peacefulness would do Spock good – it had been a tough year and the last mission didn’t exactly helped. He wanted to give him an impression that had the chance to last, a souvenir of these year’s Christmas time, their first as a couple, that he could carry within him. It had been close on the Jane Goodall, too close, and a shiver run up his spine as he recalled the scene.

Before he stepped in, he threw another quick glance at the tall, dark figure. Be well, dear.

Spock calmed his inner self down and opened up to his surroundings.

His brain noted the temperature as well as the movements of the lenient wind and the faint noises in the near bushes and trees that he identified as fir-like. He registered the gravity, the astronomical constellations and the composition of the atmosphere the small planet provided.

He recalled all he knew about how and why snow arose and where it was to expect, about its texture and appearance.

Having finished all scientific deliberations he stood and watched, wondering if he had been right to doubt Kirk’s sense and could not imagine it at the same time.

It began slowly and he hardly noticed it at first. Single flakes of snow glided gracefully to the ground, apparently appearing out of nowhere although Spock knew better. Bit by bit the mood of the air seemed to change into a sublime silence. He looked around and drew in the sensations, letting the flakes tickling his face in puzzled awe. You were right, Jim.

Soon the pace of the snowfall  increased and the flakes started to “dance” as Kirk had called it, growing in amount second by second and shielding the surface of everything still visible in the dim light with a fine, bright layer.

Spock‘s gaze met a standing lantern nearby and when he saw the white haze shivering against the soft light he was captivated. The flakes floated gracefully around the lantern just to vanish moments later into darkness, being replaced by their innumerable successors.

A part of him still tried to count, to calculate, to apply academic patterns until he found himself on the brink of defeat, the snow prevailing resoundingly. He sensed the snow on his clothes, on his nose, his ears, observed them melting and melting again until the simple magnitude of them covered his whole body with the same layer.

Spock had seen many sandstorms in his childhood and youth, but this was entirely different. There was no hungry sharpness, no flogging demand to attack everyone and everything around. Here, there was only gentleness and repose.

He looked against the light again, the forms of the lantern being hardly recognizable anymore, and was overwhelmed with the perception of the grace and beauty all around him, fighting the irrational urge to catch and beware the flakes and knowing that only their freedom allowed them their…dance. And it was a dance indeed, a magical synergy of single frail crystals forming one choreography. Spock felt like being drawn into a world of its own, a world almost lordly and it took away all his other thoughts.

The snowfall in front of him was tumultuous, unpredictable, seemed to withstand even physics itself – some of the flakes flew indeed upwards – , and it was cold. It was, in short, everything a Vulcan usually would distaste. Spock loved it.

He shortly wondered whether it was because it reminded him of Kirk’s lively state of mind and the never ending surprises and energetic sparks this human had brought into his life, pouring light in his very existing. It was this very Human that had opened his soul to see, to feel things such as those.

He lost himself in the maze, followed one of the crystals here and another one there, and gave finally, finally up the attempt of seeing the order in it. He simply enjoyed it. A slight smile formed around his lips as he saved the scene deep within his mind to recapitulate it for a future meditation, certain it would be both peace bringing and refreshing – and very special. I thank thee  for this gift, t’hy’la.

He heard Kirk approaching, stumping through the blanket of snow on the ground until he took his place by his side and both viewed the scenery for long moments in consenting silence while their hands entangled.

After a while Kirk turned to him, eyes eager. “Do you like it?”

Spock met his questioning eyes and wanted to tell him of everything he just had experienced, all he just had felt and sensed and seen, he had smelled and tasted. He thought he would burst with impressions.

And then…the words fled him. He was filled with overwhelming emotions he could not name, with a floating yet pleasing chaos he could not frame - as hard as he tried and as much as he wanted to share this with the man standing beside him. Yet, he was not able.

And so he said what he could and what was not less true.

“It had not been necessary to apply my meditation impulses for pain control.”

Regretting his words immediately, frightened a human would hear a non meant coldness or selfishness, he was still looking for more appropriate phrases to express himself. Noting the lack of success, he was about to let his head drop when he met Kirk’s gaze and saw nothing but understanding and gladness in the hazel eyes. And then he realized that Jim did understand him – without words, even without thoughts – understood him when no other would have and a wave of affection for this Human ran through him, paired with gratitude and pride.

 “I know, Spock. I had hoped you’d love it as much as I do”, Kirk said quietly and lifted Spock’s hands, rubbing them between his own to warm them up. He had seen the delight in Spock’s eyes, had felt his lack to express it, and he had understood.

He didn’t let go of his hands while they walked towards the hut.

The warmth created by the fire in the chimney and several candle lights welcomed both men when they re-entered their shed. Spock took of his coat and saw that Kirk had laid out covers and pillows on the floor before the fireplace.

“You’re hungry?” Kirk asked and went to the small kitchen unit.

“I am indeed”, Spock answered.

"What you want?” Kirk called over his shoulder.

Then he suddenly felt Spock’s arms around him, embracing him firmly from behind.

 “You. It is you I want. It is always you…” Spock purred and turned him around to claim his mouth for a long and deep kiss, meeting no resistance. It has been you since the day we met, it has ever been you.

He had not found the right words outside but he would make sure to find the right actions inside.

He lead Kirk to the refuge of blankets and placed him down, couching him prone and placing his head on one of the pillows. He opened his shirt, button by button, and pulled it aside, then continued with the rest of his clothes until Kirk laid there naked and splendid and Spock drank in the sight of him, experiencing euphoria alone from looking at the vibrant, golden body beneath him. He saw Kirk’s excitement awakening as well and slowly he undressed himself, aware of Kirk’s gaze following his every move and loving it.

As Kirk watched Spock he was bewitched anew by his alien aura, his pale, fine skin, his dashing features and his manly, muscled body. He was entranced by the pure fact that they were indeed lovers, that this was Spock undressing for him now until he was naked too, and that he was his. Mine, my Vulcan, my Spock. God, how much I love you. I have done so for such a long, long time.

He moaned when Spock started to touch him, sliding his fingers slowly over his cheeks, his neck and chest, having his body fluttering and leaving hot and burning sparks wherever his hands wandered.

Spock bent grasped Kirks arms to pin them beside him on the blanket while he claimed another deep kiss and licked then along the soft round ear, so exotic to him, so desirable, so Jim. The quivers he felt coming from Kirk doubled in himself and hot flames built in him, demanding more, so much more. Still holding Kirk hands Spock slid down, caressing his lover’s belly and the vulnerable inner side of his thighs, brushing his tight balls only slightly. He observed Kirk’s organ grow, pulsating with need but he did not touch it. Not yet, t’hy’la,  just not yet.

Then Kirk saw Spock withdrawing and returning with a small bottle of oil which he carefully opened. His whole body already aroused, he watched Spock as he brought the bottle over his crotch and poured little drops of the oil on his meanwhile hard cock. He groaned loudly with the first drop and threw his head into the pillow, taken aback by the breathtaking effect of this single drop. Then another followed, the cool liquid hit the sensitive flesh and dripped down along the shaft until it tickled the curls of his pubic hair. Kirk’s breathing quickened and he could hardly control himself anymore, longing desperately for more, so much more.

Spock went on, being humanly pleased by Kirk’s arousal, letting the oil drip and knowing how it stimulated, how it teased and although he didn’t need an evidence, it was presented to him in Kirk’s throbbing erection and in the hungry passion in his eyes.

Kirk went crazy with lust, his hands grabbing wildly in the blankets, aching for a touch of release, one tiny touch to ease the sweet torture. His hips moved up and down yet only spread the liquid further and increased the tickling prickle by doing so. Spock, please, please…

But Spock stayed with his task, his heavy breathing meanwhile matching Kirk’s, and let drop by drop fall until the bottle was empty. Kirk’s stiff member was glistening and so was his body both from sweat and oil and as the candle light multiplied the myriad sparks of glitter it was like they were dancing on the Human’s flesh like the snowflakes had been in the free air.

“Touch me, Spock, please…just touch me…”, Kirk pleaded.

“I will, Jim. Just wait –and watch”, Spock answered in a deep voice that was soaked with a touch of a playful smile.

He put the bottle aside and Kirk looked at him with eager anticipation. He changed position by lifting one leg over Kirk’s middle and came to rest above him, locking Kirk’s highs steadily with his own yet still not touching his stiff member. If Kirk raised his hip an inch higher their erections would have touched but he did not. He wanted to be patient and hoped he could, wanting to follow Spock’s lead this time but…

He had an idea what Spock was about to offer for the first time in their still new physical togetherness and as strongly as he has often enough yearned for it, his worry for Spock was stronger.

“Spock, you don’t have to do this…I don’t wanna hurt you…”, he said hoarsely.

“Sshh…you will not hurt me. And I want this as much as you, I would not lie.” Spock replied softly and by this he lowered slightly his waist and brushed back and forth along Kirk’s hard penis, spreading the oil on it all over his own organ, his balls and finally his ass, trembling from the glory sensation the slippery rub brought to both of them. The flames in him rose to a burning fire.

Kirk groaned and wriggled, being grateful for the touch and cherishing each little bit of it, burying his hands in Spock’s thighs as if they were the last fortress in this frenzy of ecstasy.

Kirk’s ardour fed Spock’s fire and feeling Kirk’s shaft massaging his, kneading his ass and the tight, thirsty cleft between his buttocks he sought for his Vulcan control and found none left. He burned for Kirk, burned with fiery-gentle flames he hadn’t thought were possible, and oh how he wanted this. I am thine, Jim. Thine…

And just as a wish began to form in him it was fulfilled when Kirk looked up at him, shining hazel eyes finding his dark ones, both pairs filled with passion and dedication. Locked in the look Spock spread his legs and took the oily tip of Kirk’s penis within him.

“Oh God, Spock…God…” Jim moaned, not loosing the look for a moment. He wanted to watch Spock, wanted to know he was okay with this too and saw immediately he was. Then he couldn’t resist to also look down on him and as he watched his own penis vanishing in Spock’s body deeper and deeper he moaned even louder.

Spock felt the infiltrating pangs but he welcomed the pain as it was one of belonging, of possession and of giving. Then the stabs of ache were smoothed away by the pleasure in Kirk’s eyes, by the pulsing, lively hardness in him, and finally, without a clear crossing, it was his own pleasure that effaced the pain and soon it was only a faint memory.

Each of Kirk’s moans ignited more flames in Spock and in an inexplicable crave for devouring those moans his fingers touched the beloved lips.

Ravenously Kirk’s lips grabbed the lean fingers, one first and then two, three, sucking them in and embraced them with his tongue, licking passionately and never wanting to let them go again.

Intoxicated by the terrific sensation as well as by the plain sight of it, gasping and shivering, Spock sank deeper until Kirk was completely and entirely covered by him, his organ filling him and making him feel whole and loved like nothing, like no one else has ever could or ever will.

He could not stop anymore, he could not not move and he lifted up and down to deepen their physical connection, to feel more and more of Kirk. He placed his hands back besides Kirk’s side and at once Kirk’s hands came up and shoved beneath, intertwining and giving the longed support. Kirk lifted his hips now to meet Spock’s movements and together they were lost in a lustful rhythm of union.

Kirk pulled his knees up and Spock leaned his upper body down, bringing his own throbbing shaft between their bellies and caging it in the slippery cave. Their faces just an inch apart, their tongues followed their hand’s example and entangled fiery.

As the pleasure became nearly too intense to bear Spock drew back to look at Kirk again all the while he still moved is hips up and down, clenching his tightness around Kirk’s organ.

My golden Human, my sun…fill me, complete me, want me…my Jim, please need me, need me, need me…

And with another stroke the fires won and took over, drawing them in circles around each other, within each other and spiralling them back again. Spock gently touched Kirk’s temples, wanting to share his very self, and though he only brushed faintly, Kirk felt the triumph, heard the Vulcan’s laughter of pure happiness in his mind and found it feeling so good, so amazingly good.

Spock…God, Spock… my silver flame, burn for me… my safe haven, my anchor … see me, inflame me, love me…

And then both men came, Spock creaming Kirk’s body with his semen and Kirk filling him with his, both shaking in the marvellous peak of their passion.

When awareness returned to Spock again he rolled cautiously from Kirk and on his side, and as the human left his body, he felt a fleeting stitch of loss. But it went and when Spock nestled against Kirk’s shoulder and was instantly hold by a strong arm around his back, the feeling of contentment and joy came back and settled down deep within him. He lazily grabbed a cloth and cleaned Kirks belly and drew then with the tips of his fingers soft circles on his skin until his hand came to rest on Kirk’s heart, sensing the still racing human beat that had become the most irresistible lure for him. Kirk looked down at him, beaming, sated, god-like. T’nash-veh ka’ishtra‘yel, I thought I would lose this life with you and I was… afraid. But you came and saved me, saved this life of ours. I do not wish to ever lose this, lose you. Not ever.
Not leaving Kirk’s gaze he realized the wonder of it, the wonder of their union, two halves creating such one magnificent whole, and he smiled, openly this time and aware but not ashamed of it.

Kirk was sure that his body had never felt so good, his mind had never been more welcomed, his soul had never been more home as in this moment. Thank you for this, Spock, thank you for your closeness, your trust, for always being at my side, thank you for your love.
The Vulcan’s heat beside him radiated around himself and he looked tenderly down at Spock.  He lay in perfect ease, naked, vulnerable yet strong, a glorious prince. His mouth slightly opened, the lips swollen and smiling, Kirk was sure he was alright. He shone in the silver light the snow send through the window and when Kirk’s heart swell with fondness until it was aching he suddenly knew why they had to find each other.
Both had sustained the seeds of this love within them and only now it had had the chance to fully bloom. And this love was a love so deep, so boundless, so sublime that it was simply too much for one heart alone to carry – this one required both their hearts and so he needed Spock as much as Spock needed him. Vulcan strength and Human warmth, silver flames and golden light combined for infinity.

He drew Spock closer, pulled up the blankets to cover their bodies and snuggled up against the dark, silken hair, nibbling gently on the tip of one pointy ear and being rewarded by a low, dozy purr.

“Merry Chr…” both began and although the thoughts were thought sleep appeared and could not resist to claim the loving pair to fill their dreams with warming fires and gentle breezes, and the dance of the ever so slightly floating snowflakes.


****** The End ******


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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Dec. 4th, 2010 09:35 am (UTC)
Excellent, thanks for sharing :)
Dec. 4th, 2010 12:27 pm (UTC)
Thank for the kind feedback! :)))
Dec. 4th, 2010 10:56 am (UTC)
I'm still shivering and feeling warm at the same time. The description of snow was perfect and Kirk and Spock were so in character.
Wonderful work.
Dec. 4th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
Wow - thank you so much!! I do not write often, I'm more of a reader, and so I'm totally flattered reading your comment!!
Especially that they were in charakter is so godd to hear :)
Well, and the part about the shivering and feeling warm too of course.

Dec. 4th, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
This was lovely! I was on the edge of my seat during the scene in the cargo bay, and the final part, when they were on shore leave, was so sweet. You could really feel Kirk and Spock's love for each other all through this story <3
Dec. 4th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy you like it!!!
Thank you for taking the time reading it bb!!
Well, and for the time commenting too of course :)

The idea was in my mind since January and I'm so glad it worked out somehow. Thaaaaaank you.

Dec. 4th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful! So emotional and in character. I loved those little moments where they showed to each other how much they cared. Great job!
Dec. 4th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!
I love all the little moments they share during the series and the movies so much and I'm very happy you saw them in my story too. Makes me smiling :)

Really, thnx for the comment!!
Dec. 4th, 2010 05:18 pm (UTC)
Great story. I was really afraid for Jim and Spock, so I'm glad they pulled through together. A sweet TOS established relationship. ^^
Dec. 4th, 2010 06:34 pm (UTC)
"so I'm glad they pulled through together"

Ah, they always will! Ever have, always will :)

I thank you for the fb and I'm so glad the story is liked! I do not often write and so every nice and kind fb does sooo good. Thank you!

Dec. 4th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
Here I Am!
Just added you to my friend's list,my Kleines! I'm still learning how to use everything,so be patient...:)

I love this story so much! You write them as if you could somehow peek in on their hearts...Wonderful!!

*Hugs you tightly* Jan
Dec. 4th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Here I Am!
There you are indeed!! Welcome at LJ :)

Thank you so much for the kind comment dear!! It gives me a huge smile that you like the story and felt it so deeply, thanks a million.

Dec. 4th, 2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
Beautiful-- from Kirk's panic to your description of the snowflakes and the depth of their love for each other.
Dec. 4th, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
I'm happy I could transport this depth of their love you mentioned as it's exactly what I think their love is.
Thank you sooo much.
(no subject) - fujitsu01 - Dec. 4th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 5th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
You killed my with this fluffiness. <3
No, really, before that I almost cried aloud for the almost certain-death of Spock and Jim.
Really wonderful fic. <3

On the coding side: it seems the yellow pops up only with the < i > tag while not with < em > (without spaces, obviously). Strange as it seems (in my LJ's css I have both the i and em read as the same tag), you can get rid of the yellow for the fic by changing all the < i > and </ i> with < em > and </ em>, always without spaces). :)
Dec. 5th, 2010 09:09 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!! It makes me incredibly happy to read your kind words - especially about the fluff :)
Thanky you, really.

Ah, does that means that < em > will also put the words in italic?
Let's see: Spock stepped into the captain quarters and grabbed the surprised human with firm hands, bringing their mouths close to ona another in one instant.

The other problem I had was that in the comments, everything in italic won't be seen until highlighted. Strange journal I have here...(so, shouldn't you see the sentence, highlight it)
Thnx a million for your help - it's deeply appreciated!!

(no subject) - tracionn - Dec. 5th, 2010 09:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - prue84 - Dec. 5th, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tracionn - Dec. 5th, 2010 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 5th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)
I loved the rescue part, and of course the hot scene at the end. :D You really conveyed the depth of their relationship. Well done!
Dec. 5th, 2010 09:11 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!
Your fb gives me such a nice warm feeling :)
I'm very happy it worked out and I thank you for taking the time to comment.
Dec. 5th, 2010 02:45 pm (UTC)
You're welcome of course! I still love this story--so hot and sweet and this:

a love so deep, so boundless, so sublime that it was simply too much for one heart alone to carry

Yes, that. :) Lovely again dear!
Dec. 5th, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you - once more and not any less :)
You were a huge help!

Ah, that line is my favourite too if I can say this. Makes me very happy you like it.

Dec. 5th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, my!
This was an absolutely SUPERB piece! So tender and beautiful...lately I've been immersing myself in as much romantic K/S as possible and this lovely story in particular truly fit that bill! I'm printing it out so I can keep it forever! Loved it! Word of adive: DO NOT STOP WRITING---you've definitely got the "touch" and I for one am dying to see MORE from you! Good job! :)
Dec. 5th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, my!
Ah, you're making me blush again.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! Am glad the tenderness worked out as I intended exactly that and I'm also glad it works for you.

I do write drabbles from time to time, but mostly in my mother tongue. But should I translate or write more, you'll notice it on your flist :)

Again, thank you very much!
Dec. 5th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful! You brought out such a range of emotions in me, with this story. At the start, you managed to build and then maintain the tension right through the scene on the cargo deck and I was willing Jim to find a way to save Spock. Which of course, he did. :-)

And then we got to the planet and R&R. I loved Spock enjoying the snow, examining and analysing it as he does anything scientific and Jim being pleased his Vulcan was enjoying it so much.

Which led on to the final scene - wow that was hot! The love between them was so readily apprent in every look and touch and thought. What a perfect and wonderful Christmas - from the sounds of it, their first as lovers.

This was a lovely story, T'Racionn - thank you for writing it and contributing to the Advent Calendar. :-) xx
Dec. 6th, 2010 08:12 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Amanda!
I'm so humanly delighted that you liked the story and I thank you for your kind and long feebdack, it does (also very humanly) good :)

Sometimes I feared the three parts wouldn't work together but it's great to read they did in the end.

And the snow scene - that was this idea of mine since January and everything else was built from there.

I'm pleased to be contributing to the calender.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 6th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
*smirks brightly*
Thank you so much! I'm happy it all worked out and am also happy you liked it.

The snow scene was the first scene I had in my mind at all and it just had to be, I guess. And although the coldness wouldn't be that pleasant for him, I totally think it's sth Spock would like. :)

Thank you fro the kind comment!!


(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - tracionn - Dec. 6th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 10th, 2010 08:24 pm (UTC)
This was fantastic! Extremely well written and it left me with a happy, warm fuzzy feeling. :D Keep up the good work!
Dec. 10th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much!! If you saw me now you'd see how much I'm blushing...

And and the warm fuzzy feeling I know well - it's what I love about K/S Christmas stories - and I'm happy aou felt it here.

I thank you for taking the time reading and commenting it, it does very good :)
Dec. 28th, 2010 09:45 pm (UTC)
They way you depict them is so gentle and pretty. I hope there will be more. (This is why I am a TOS fan.)
Dec. 29th, 2010 04:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Pretty and gentle - such a great compliment as I tried to achieve this exactly. So really, thank you.

And I'm such a TOS soul myself -aren't they just wondeful? :)

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